Friends are that Family We Can Choose – For me, life is like a roller coaster; From time to time, there are bends, dizzy falls, steep slopes that make you alive and there are also moments of calm. It is the existence of a person full of moments of peace, joy, fears, fears. Sometimes you are surrounded by many people and sometimes you are alone, but you always learn something, and as long as you do, you will win.
The problem is that you know that you are going to live in a complicated situation. You do not know for sure if you can count on the support of your family. It can happen that it happens; for many people, however, it is the opposite and when they seek the comfort of their loved ones, they find only criticism, coldness and harshness.
What to do if you are in trouble and you do not have support from your family?
We must first clarify that there are happy and unhappy families. Happy families try to help, support, give affection, lead members. Unhappy families act in the opposite direction, judge, criticize, insist repeatedly on the mistakes of their members and leave in case of great need.
Suppose you are part of an unhappy family. you will help them and in return, you will receive rejection and criticism.
What can you do
You can do nothing but accept what they think about your situation. However, to accept does not mean to tolerate the suffering to which your harsh critics can be subjected. Yes, because sometimes the problems you have encountered have been warned, and their hardness comes from the fact that they are tired of telling you what might happen to you. But it can also happen that they judge and criticize because they do not know of any other way of acting because you should not bear that for more reasons.
Receiving these harsh criticisms and accusations will only increase your pain, allow you to reduce your strength and focus only on the problem. and nobody helps.
The problem is that you can drag this situation with you and implement it in your own family if you agree. That’s why it’s important that if you do not get help, you will not tolerate the pain. Seek support from others and try to learn the lesson even if it only concerns you in isolation.
I invite you to “do not pay with the same currency”. If one of your brothers or relatives seeks comfort, support him and see that you are able to give what you have sought in them and have not received; Maybe they are learning something from your example.
You do not ask for help, you just do not want to feel alone
And it’s something that many parents do not understand. You are not going to look for money, you are not going to a place to live or to solve problems by magic; you use them because you need a hug, a kind word, comfort, you have to specify it.
The help you enjoy most in difficult times is that it does not show, but sometimes it’s the least we want to give. In these circumstances, it is better to accept and seek support from someone else.
To accept is to mature
Part of the ripening package is cutting the cord that binds you to your family. You love them, even if they like you “badly”, but you do not have to tolerate injuries, or treat your offspring in the same way that he treated you. Accept and mature.
The adult makes you strong and takes you as an adult to take responsibility for your decisions and actions. When you do, you cut the link that makes you dependent on your family members. Accept that whatever you do has consequences and knows how to support it, that’s part of the growth.
Due to the events described above, many people are moving away from loved ones. They do not feel loved or appreciated and do not find support when they come to them to comfort themselves. the result is that they leave and their group of best friends become their family.
That’s why you sometimes have a problem and know what to expect when you go to your parents or siblings; then you would prefer to avoid the bad glass and go to your friends because you will receive what you need: advice, support, a hug and even a solution to your problems.
Many people have their friends in their family because they find not only love but also support. In any case, do not forget to do your best and try to reconcile yourself with those who are your blood. Sometimes the wrings wounds.
An important detail
Consider the following: If you have a group of loyal friends that you can trust, it’s great; but otherwise it is sometimes better to learn to see them for yourself.
Do not forget your family, they may not like it, they argue you do not have it when you need it, but they do not stop being part of you. Sometimes, with time, loneliness, distance and the same pain of life, people change for the better. Do not turn away and get ready to be happy. In the meantime, enjoy the love of your friends, the family you have chosen.