The Proven Techniques to Boost Your Confidence (Part 1) – In addition to the golden rule of trust, the following techniques, implemented in various scientific studies, have proven effective in increasing your self-confidence when you need it most. (I Will explain These Proven Techniques to Boost Your Confidence in two-part.)
Some are easier than others, but they are at least essential for you to feel safer in all situations. Use them wisely.
Stop looking for trust
Before I start, I would like to remind you of something fundamental, but that we often forget:
It is impossible to always have self-confidence.
Our level of confidence fluctuates. The same person can be very sure of herself if she finds the job of her dreams and is completely depressed if she is fired. And that’s normal.
Nobody escapes this. Even people as successful as Hollywood actresses have admitted that they often felt like a failure!
So do not always try to be confident. It is scientifically proven that the more you pursue it, the more you will feel sad and insecure.
To this end, the law of invested effort is known, and that is that many people have such a great need to always feel good that it adds pressure and becomes depressing.
Bednar and Peterson, two psychologists specializing in self-esteem, saw a strange phenomenon in their patients.
They verified that their self-esteem did not depend on the outcome of their actions. When one of them did not show up for an exam he had prepared for, he felt much worse than if he had tried and failed.
In other words, the pride of having tried it eclipsed the disappointment of not having approved it.
This is the true positive circle of trust: your security increases if you simply act. And playing makes you more confident.
Remember: trust comes from trade, regardless of size.
Find reasons to trust yourself
Many people are used to lowering their performance.
This is known as cheater syndrome. They attribute their success to happiness and convince themselves that they are a fraud and do not deserve what they have achieved.
If you think that this concerns you, you must be more aware of your accomplishments and the personal qualities they have made possible. This will help you better appreciate yourself.
To do this, make a list of 3 successes that you have achieved in your life, whether you are at the workplace, academically or personally, and identify the quality you need to reach them all.
For example, if you have finished your career working, it certainly means you are determined and persevering, is not it? Well, do not forget it.
Remember your values
According to some streams of positive thinking, our mind is able to create the reality we are telling.
Presumably, by repeating mantras of the type “I am strong and I have nothing to fear” or “I am someone extraordinary”, our spirit will internalize it and we will have the confidence necessary to realize all that we want to do.
The idea is beautiful and you want to believe it. But it’s wrong.
One study wanted to prove once and for all the effectiveness of this type of positive affirmation. And the result was that participants with low self-esteem that they used not only did not succeed in raising it, but they felt worse.
The reason these messages do not work is that the brain is not naïve. When we say we are or are great, our brain immediately asks: what reasons should I believe that?
And if he is unable to find the answer, he will not believe it.
This kind of statement only works if you know what you are saying is true.
And there is no more indisputable truth than your values.
This is what they found in a study conducted at the University of California. The participants had to improvise a speech in front of a jury and, in the end, they were asked to start counting down to 13, from the number 2083!
At the end of the study, their cortisol levels were measured, a hormone that increases in anxiety situations. But there was one small detail: before the experiment, a group of participants had written a reflection on one of their personal values.
This group had significantly lower cortisol levels than the rest of the participants. The pressure has affected them much less.
Forget to set goals
On May 10, 1996, eight climbers died of cold while trying to descend the summit of Everest, captured by a huge snowstorm.
Dr. Kayes explanations, an expert in organizational behavior that was in the region that day, the obsession with their purpose had caused dragged that mountaineers have death.
The goal of crowning Everest had become part of his identity. They could not imagine closing the mission a few meters from the summit and therefore ignored all the warning signs that advised them to return immediately and continued.
Goals have a very dark side. While the belief that goal setting is the secret to success has become popular in recent years, the reality is that goal setting is a serious problem if you can not accept failure.
That’s why it’s better to be led by something else that should already be known at this stage: your values.
Your values determine the principles you want to live on. And by the way, you will not fail to fail. If you wanted to climb Everest but the courage of perseverance guided you, you could be proud to have tried, even if you had never reached the summit.
By using your values to focus on the process, you avoid worrying about the goals on which you depend on your happiness.