Positive Thinking Does not Work – To resolve the malaise, a situation that makes us suffer, any method based on the control of thought, that is to say, convincing itself, will not produce deep and lasting results. Do not think positively, do not have faith, discover, discover and enjoy the understanding of life. Do not run away from discomfort, learn to solve it.
They looked at us and we watched them. We tried to evaluate to what extent they understood the meaning of what we had just explained. In the hall, the silent silence questioned us and we went back to expose it from another point of view.
“To solve the malaise, a situation that makes us suffer, any method based on the control of thought, that is to say, convincing itself, will not produce deep and lasting results.”
We tend to emphasize this point because many people come to the consultation after years of trying to put into practice methods that do not work. An example is the derivatives of so-called positive thinking, a method of repeating positive sentences or convincing oneself with beautiful sentences to overcome a difficult situation or circumstances that cause suffering.
And why does this method not work? Because the so-called positive thoughts try to arouse artificial emotions, emotions generated by conservative thoughts, in order to silence the real emotions that cause the violence that harasses us, without understanding the cause of this suffering. It would be like a doctor saying to an infected ear, “If you see that it hurts, sing something cheerful.”
You do not choose what you want to feel
Psychological suffering, such as physical pain, is a warning that something is wrong. The solution to this problem cannot be to remove the discomfort but to understand and solve the origin of this discomfort. According to the previous example, if someone learns to cure the infection, the ear stops suffering and you can enjoy singing.
Other very repetitive mistakes are such statements as “everyone chooses how he wants to live or how he wants to feel” or “the suffering is optional, we can decide not to suffer”. Nothing is further from reality. When a person suffers from psychological problems, they can not choose what they want to feel, they do not even choose many things they think about. With this kind of positive thoughts, you can remove the discomfort if it’s not very intense, but it will not make you feel good in the long run. What works is that we learn to solve the discomfort, then it forges a life more and more satisfying.
It is painful to note that, in many cases, those who have not learned to suppress suffering, far from understanding that the method of positive thinking, or “choosing how you want to feel,” are ineffective have come to the conclusion. Come on, the problem is theirs. That it is they who are unable to execute it, which generates a self-criticism and a personal devaluation, which finally became a problem added to the previous one.
Between the spectators, we begin to see gestures of confirmation, a smile on the faces of our listeners. Faces that once again confirm that many people there feared they would not be able to care about what they had been taught because they thought they were clumsy and hopeless to resolve their conflicts.
In the requested time
– Do you mean that when you worry about something and try to think of something else that is more pleasant, is it bad?
– When it comes to resolving a conflict, a situation in which you suffer, negative thinking is harmful, as is positive thinking …
A murmur ran through the room.
– … what you need to do is investigate the problem, try to understand it, find out what mistakes are possible, what emotions it produces and how to solve it, how we are confronted with the conflict and how it results in the situation. To do this, it is also necessary to face the emotions that this problem entails because if we reject them or if we look for other positive emotions, we will not be able to explore, discover or discover anything new in the world. problem. And if we do not find anything new, the old patterns and their suffering will continue.
– But while you think and understand the cause of the problem, what are you doing with the discomfort?
– If you refer to unpleasant sensations and emotions, you must feel them, do not think about them, reject them, do not change them. You must feel them, you must lose the fear for you all the discomfort and you will see what happens. That’s what will give them real intelligence – was our answer.
Silent in the room again.
Usually, most listeners see the way at this stage arrogance and logic of what we expose, but then they start to think that it is very difficult. This difficult thought stems from an unconscious fear of not being able to fail. However, all people are trained to learn how to solve their discomfort.
– In fact, they do not know if it’s difficult or not, because they have not tried it that way yet. Therefore, do not think it’s difficult, you better realize they do not know it yet.
Laughs among the listeners. Many recognize themselves in what we expose, seeking excuses for fear of trying something new and uncertain. The joy gives way to a certain excitement among the assistants, something euphoric, impatience, desire to try.
– Do not think positively, do not have faith, do not discover, do not appreciate and do not appreciate understanding life. Do not run away from discomfort, learn to solve it.