She did not Feel Happy, or Free Despite Loving Him – Enjoy it today, it’s later than you think. Saying Chinese Everything was already organized, he would go to the country on weekends to visit his friend Florencia. Luis, her husband, would take care of Pili, their four-year-old daughter.
They had done very funny projects and Isabella could very quietly give herself, even for a few days, the pleasure of talking to her boyfriend.
He came to heaven fairly quickly, thankfully, there was not much traffic. His girlfriend was waiting for him with a delicious lunch and they kept talking until nap time.
– Well, dear friend, your nap is a nap in the field, so I’m going in a short time.
– Well! Siesta! I’m leaving too.
The guest room was simple and welcoming. Florencia had placed flowers in a vase beside some branches of aromo. How he knew her and how he spoiled her … He was happy to have these moments of pleasure. Rest and take care of nothing, a good plan.
She lay on the bed with a book she took out of her bag and fell asleep to the sound of the birds that invited her to sleep.
At night, they drank and laughed until late. As she falls asleep, Isabella says to her friend:
-And to sleep, Flor, I arrange things that you have already done enough and I do not want to give you work, it’s not something you do not invite me anymore.
– Do not worry, we leave everything like that, give it, it’s late …
– No, you go there. In the meantime, I will stay in the gallery for a moment.
Isabella had finished washing and ordering the dishes and drinks and stayed in the gallery for some time. I looked at the starry sky until it seemed to float, it was like I was in paradise. He was frightened by this strange feeling and then it happened. For the first time in his life, he felt mortal, his life had an expiration date. At first, he was afraid, he could not breathe because not only was his mortality felt in his body, but he thought he was going to die at that time and all he thought was “I do not have still lived “. She remained motionless and felt that she could not remain distracted and lived as if she were immortal. She did not Feel Happy, or Free Despite Loving Him
He did not sleep at night.
The next morning he prepared breakfast, waited for Florence to wake up and said:
– Something urgent, I have to leave in a moment.
– Have you spent anything, my friend?
“No, no, everything’s fine, but Luis called me, he’s not used to being alone with Pili, I miss the girl.
– You have to take the next one with her.
Luis’s call was, of course, an invention, but he had to speak to him urgently. He did not want to tell anyone what had happened to him that night. I thought it was a very private, non-transferable experience. To speak of it would have removed the mystery she still felt.
When he arrived home, there was nobody. Luis had taken Pili for a walk. He unpacked and waited impatiently for their arrival. Pili fell asleep. When Luis returned to the living room, he asked him why he had returned earlier. Isabella could tell him that she did not love him anymore. Luis was surprised but did not lose his conciliatory tone:
– Love, we have a lot of crises, we will also overcome that.
– Neither you nor I am like 15 years ago. I lived for you all my life; but not anymore. I do not regret everything that I lived. I discovered that I am not the other. I’m not you, I’ve eaten this story about orange stockings. And I discover that everyone is a complete orange. I have to make my life. For example, I do not like them anymore, I do not tolerate things like dealing with
at home, that I have to eat rice and rice every night. It never interested me, but for years I did it because I thought it was my duty. I discovered that I did not want to live like this.
-But this is a small problem, we can solve it …
– It’s time to fix something. Fortunately, we live what we live, but I do not have the interest to continue together. I lived reduced to your desires and needs, and now I want to live for myself. Do you know what’s going on? I discovered that the time was up.
Isabella, 40 years old
I caught myself hearing the direct expression he had said. Luis was frozen. Yes, yes, we were a great couple, with all the ingredients of two people sharing a life full of love, encounters, and disagreements. Despite almost two decades together, we have not lost the complicity. As the waiter of a bar that we had visited for a few years supposed that we were in love. Apparently, we could not have such a wave and be married.
After saying that I felt empty but at peace. I had just pulled a huge weight from me that I am not and had noticed. A few days later, and even if Luis did not agree with my unilateral decision, we were already organizing the divorce, the crisis was just beginning. He had not left Luis for another man, Luis was not a cocaine addict, nor a compulsive gambler, nor a puncher, nor a failure. Or something like that. But the problem was not over. I was wasting my time, I did not feel happy, complete or free. My life should turn.
I wanted to live life. Nothing to vegetate or transmit. All live well. Would it be a superficiality? Immaturity? Maybe, but I had to find out and not read it in Aristotle’s treatises.
But what would have happened in the middle? When did I start divorcing without realizing it? I did not have many answers, but I found clues. From the most superficial to the deepest.
One of the first was just going to bed each day for breakfast. Although I did it with love for fifteen years, it was not something I liked. It would have been a pleasant surprise that one day I would have been honored, something that never happened.
Another example in the same sense was that she would be responsible for the house, including food. If the refrigerator was empty or the food was not rich, I felt guilty for not meeting my “obligation”. And when does he agree? I really hated these things. I don’t happy with this
Deep inside me, this crazy idea was that we were half-oranges to finish. Although I am not a practicing Catholic, all the dogmas and mandates I received in my childhood had conditioned me. No matter how many times people thought, they were much more attached than they had thought. And that may be the biggest problem: not just programming, but ignoring programming.
The crisis of half of my life, including my powerful belt. The wonder woman had failed. And, oddly, I was relieved that it was like that.
All these experiences have taught me that it is impossible for two to be one. We are two complete oranges, with their characteristics, their limits and their quirks. They can meet and with great difficulty choose to share their lives. If we can understand it We did not Feel Happy, or Free Despite Loving our boyfriends