Is it Normal to Get Bored With The Couple? – Boredom is not a scourge, but a condition quite normal at certain moments of life. The boredom of the couple only meant that it was time to introduce novelties and variants to reactivate the relationship.
Boredom is as normal as being bored with work, family, obligations, or any other reality in life. Let’s start by saying that boredom is not a state as horrible or as negative as many people think. It’s like the flu: no one is spared from an occasional case.
We can define boredom as a state devoid of interest or motivation. Etymologically, it comes from the Latin root ab, which means “without”; and horror, which means “horror”. So from the etymological point of view, it would be something like “to be without horror”.
The boredom of the couple, the work, the friends, whatever it is, is quite normal under certain circumstances. It’s just a consequence, not a problem in itself. Just like the night makes it possible to value the day, and conversely, the periods of fatigue make it possible to evaluate differently the novelty.
Reflections on boredom
Boredom is the first brother of depression, but not the synonym. It is a condition that generates discomfort and easily leads to grief. Sometimes this raises questions and reflections on the true meaning of life. After a while, this can lead to despair.
Isaac Asimov once said that boredom would become the great disease of modern times. Why modernism? That did not exist in another era? Maybe the connotation of this feeling has changed. It is in our time that it has taken a very negative meaning and that is why it is hardly tolerated.
Someone gets bored when he has no pleasure in his life. More precisely: a different version of reality. He is born when activities or routine become too repetitive. Even when there are no goals or objectives or they lose their appeal.
Bored of the couple
The boredom of the couple is generally considered a serious alarm signal. The first idea that appears is the suspicion that love is over. Those who have a long-term relationship know that this is not the case. The love and boredom of the other are realities that often coexist, even if they seem contradictory.
The most common is that people get bored with the couple after several years of coexistence. Some studies indicate that the critical point is given to the four and seven years of the relationship.
At four o’clock, because that’s when the brain stops releasing dopamine and other substances associated with falling in love. At seven o’clock, because it coincides anthropologically with the cycle that completes the education of a child. So, biologically, we are willing to give up the pair when the survival of the species is fully guaranteed.
From a psychological point of view, being bored with the couple can be a sign that the stage of romantic love is over. However, a study by Sandra L. Murray, Dale W. Griffin, and John G. Holmes indicates that the more ideal the fall of love is, the lower the risk of boredom.
Fear of affection
When two people fall in love, it will activate the “fear of affection” in them. Starting a relationship with someone creates the feeling that your life is expanding. It is experienced as a psychological awakening that leads to very pleasant sensations.
It then takes protection and comfort, as well as the fear of loss. The antidote to all this is the closeness of the beloved. When he is and fits these feelings, he had made the fear weak. So, there is a strong need for connection with the loved one.
Over time, this feeling of individual expansion and psychological awakening fades. What was extraordinary becomes familiar and the meaning of novelty disappears. It also testified to the enthusiasm and the accumulation of pleasant sensations experienced before. It is at this moment that it is possible to annoy the couple.
Things will never be the same again. However, there are ways to reactivate the relationship and avoid the feeling of boredom. The introduction of news and variants is the most important way to revive mutual interest. It is always very useful to evolve individually to change this feeling of “always the same”.