Can You be Totally Honest with The Couple? – Often, you can not or can not be completely honest with the couple because the truth can result in unnecessary conflict or unnecessary inconvenience. Lying is reprehensible if it ends selfishly or offensively.
If we really want to be honest, let’s start by saying that there are many contradictions in the area of sincerity. This is especially true for the question of sincerity in the couple. In theory, this is one of the great virtues of a relationship. In practice, complete sincerity sometimes causes stitches and wounds that are hard to forgive.
Suppose also that no one can be absolutely sincere at any time of his life. There are many little lies that are told with the intention of giving the other person a pleasant feeling.
That the dress is excellent, if you hardly notice the difference with another costume, but you realize that it does not feel safe. Or that the blunder was not terrible, because deep down, you know he made a huge mistake. They are what we call white or godly lies.
But what happens when more transcendental problems are involved, such as loyalty, the intensity of love or saturation? In these cases, can you be completely honest with the couple? Is it really worth it to be honest?
Being honest in the relationship is not always a good idea
The Wall Street Journal has published a report in which Dr. Marianne Dainton reflects on this. This psychologist, expert in couple therapy, analyzed in detail the topic of sincerity in the couple and concluded that it was not always a good idea.
What most people are looking for in their partner is not sincerity, but affection, acceptance, motivation. Therefore, truths that hurt the ego, questioning the quality of the affection, or the other person’s assessments of the couple are generally not well received.
According to Dr. Dainton not worth all the truths that can give rise to a fight. Being honest in the couple has its limits. Lies and omissions are often used to protect others and are not necessarily a means of manipulation or disrespect.
To demystify lies
Not only do we lie to others, but we often tell ourselves. And we believe them. In fact, much of the world we live in is fantasies, misinterpretations or untruths. We know half of our own truths and those of the world.
Lies, lies, illusions about oneself, illusions, misunderstandings and all that is analogous are more common realities than truths. Even science itself still has many truths to itself. History has not given us the whole truth about what has happened in the world in the last centuries.
Despite all this, the word lie continues to have a very strong moral burden. He generalizes. The purpose and effect of lies are not always the same, nor are the aims and effects of what we call the truth. Sometimes being too honest is also a way to destroy.
Less moral and more pragmatism
The psychologist Esteban Cañamares said in an interview with the Spanish newspaper El Confidencial that “lies are positive while avoiding unnecessary friction and conflict and provided that they do not hurt and do not serve the benefit of the other. “. It is a very targeted and realistic opinion that has great validity.
There are problems on which it is necessary to be completely sincere in the couple. When love is over, it must be said, even if it hurts the other person. If you have a physical or mental state, it is also necessary to communicate, as this will somehow affect the couple. It is not good either to lie on financial or family matters.
In the same way, we must learn to reasonably appreciate the lies that the couple can tell us. Being stuck in incorrect information does not mean that it is no longer possible to trust him. In human affairs, intent counts as much as the fact itself. This factor must always be appreciated.
It is remote or hurt if they involve egoism or neglect. Even interpreted with an excess of moralism or suspicion. Maturity is necessary to accept truths. The first is that we are human and that we do not always do what we socially describe as “correct”.