The Way You Solve Your Conflicts – When we are confronted with some conflicts, we may have different selfish or violent responses. However, we must not forget that the relationship is a matter of two and that both parties benefit from it
Our life is full of conflict. Some of us solve them in a much simpler way than others.
The fact that a problem is resolved sooner or later, however, has nothing to do with the conflict itself, but with the way we solve it.
Today, we will describe three ways in which a person can resolve a conflict. We will see their characteristics and what they imply. What will be yours?
Both parties to the conflict lose it
In conflicts where both persons involved lose the violence, verbal aggression, insults and lack of empathy for the other are present.
One of the two members wants to be right. That’s why he does not listen and easily assess the person in front of him.
In the end, nothing is achieved and both parties lose. Plus, they tend to have a bitter taste in their mouth, full of frustration and anger. And the worst thing is that nothing has been solved.
This type of conflict resolution is not positive for relationships because they tend to be damaged. Sometimes they can even break.
For example, imagine that we are with our partner and that it bothers us that he puts his feet on the table. It is possible that he gets angry because we have never told him before and we absorb all our accumulated anger.
The discussion grows until we start having dirty rags of the past. We have taken other routes that have nothing to do with the main idea of the conflict.
In the end, we are angry, disillusioned, and we may even have hurt our partner. All because we did not know how to listen and at that time we did not say what bothered us so much.
One wins but the other loses
One of the people wins in this second type of conflict resolution. However, this occurs to the detriment of harming or even using force with the other party.
This happens often when a person has a very strong personality and tries to control it. Finally, out of fear, fear or to put an end to this situation, the other person can throw in the towel.
Whoever wins wants to force his opinion at any cost. Your reality and your reasons are the only valid ones. That’s why he does not take into account or listen to the other party involved.
The result is not fair. One of the members is victorious and satisfied, while the other feels irritated even if he has acknowledged his defeat.
In the end, a climate of discomfort is created that harms the relationship.
Take the example of the aforementioned pair. If they resolve their conflicts in this way, one of them will eventually give in to pressure from the other.
Perhaps he does so for fear that his partner may get worse, because of laziness, to continue with a meaningless discussion … It’s like giving the reason to the other person, knowing that he does not do not really have it.
It’s not positive in the long run. Each member has the right to express what they think and what they take into account.
But pride or the need to stand up and be right may be more important than ensuring the well-being of the relationship.
Both parties to the conflict are winners
This is the best way to resolve conflicts because both parties win. Thus, the relationship, instead of being damaged, is strengthened.
Both people know how to communicate effectively what they think. Moreover, they listen and never judge.
Stay calm, be firm and express without resentment and without hints. Everyone’s point of view is without a doubt one of the best ways to resolve conflicts.
Let’s continue with the example already seen. In this case, both members of the couple were heard. As a result, they realize that someone did not know what the other thought because he did not tell them about it.
In addition, the other person realizes that she has to learn to express what she thinks instead of keeping it. Then an understanding would be reached.
If both parties win, both members learn to develop, develop and strengthen their relationship.
How do you solve your conflicts?