7 Steps to Recover from Adversity – Do you grow up against adversity or go down? Do you complain when the wind blows against you? Do you throw in the mud when you fall? Or even worse, you are a person who blames or punishes others when problems arise.
How to manage the stress, anxiety or frustration that difficult situations cause you?
In the face of failures, there are three types of people, three attitudes.
- In the first place, there are people who do nothing new: they continue to behave the same way or paralyze like a blind rabbit in the middle of the night; they wait for life to turn around and solve the problems.
- Secondly, there are people who do what they do, but who in reality limit themselves to complaining, complaining or blaming themselves; they become defensive and decrease with each setback.
- Finally, there is the third group. those who decide to take their life in hand and do something constructive with it.
If you belong to this last group of exceptional and productive people, read on.
According to Facundo Manes, neuroscientist and neurologist, “when anxiety exceeds normal levels, it can generate false alarms that over-activate the stress response and cause intense care and various physical symptoms.”
Your attitude towards chess has a major impact on your well-being.
If, as usual, you are trapped, pick up something when you get up. Do not get up quickly and shake off the dust as if nothing had happened. Learn something from this experience. This is not the end of the world: the sun will rise tomorrow. Enjoy life and increase your resistance to frustration. Forgive and cultivate your sense of humor. With imagination, you can even cross this reverse step from laughter to tears.
Follow these 7 steps to overcome adversity
1. Do not judge the person, but criticize the strategies
Do not judge yourself as a person. To overcome the challenges of life, he develops a healthy self-image. In other words, the opinion you have about yourself helps you feel useful, able and confident. According to psychologist Haim Ginott, a professor at New York University, who criticizes you severely, the value you place on yourself can hurt you. Instead, focus on a new behavior.
Instead of evaluating yourself, you evaluate your actions. For example, if you are faced with an unwanted situation, you can distinguish between what you are and what you do. It’s not the same thing to say to you: “I was wrong, next time I’ll do it differently (I’ll change the behavior)”, that is, “I’m a fool and a failure (unfair personal evaluation) “.
2. Time is relative
The bad times seem eternal. Holidays, on the other hand, pass without feeling. When you are in the dark, try to distinguish real-time from subjective time.
Defeatist thoughts will make you believe that all accidents are permanent and irreversible. As the Zen master of the story says: “it will happen”.
By considering accidents as temporary events, you get a more objective and healthy picture of the situation.
3. Measure the intensity of the impact
If you are scared, whether it’s your first time, or you do not feel any challenge to overcome, you will probably not tend to calculate the risks correctly. If you think your world will end up in Finisterre, you will tend to paralyze or make bad decisions that are self-evident.
4. Take the responsibility that suits you
Neither more nor less is the difficulty. Sometimes we are extremely up to our positions and say things like “any debt is mine” or “any debt is yours”. Think as objectively as possible to what extent you have been able to contribute to this difficult situation.
5. Phrases in the affirmative tone
In difficult situations, change your goal. Focus on what you want, what you are, and what you can do. Replace negative sentences such as “I do not have …”, “I’m not …” or “I can not …” with affirmative sentences such as “I …” , “I am …” and “I can”. This way of speaking helps you to motivate yourself and to better deal with problems.
In addition, if your challenge is about the people you value, positive sentences will help you engage in more constructive dialogue and resolve the potential conflict.
6. Make the right choice
If you turn your head without taking constructive measures, you will not solve anything. You need better criteria, support, and respect, no punishment. In the face of adverse situations, think about how you will act the next time something similar will happen. Clearly define the goals you want to achieve.
7. Influence you
The impact of effect often becomes unstable. In fact, we tend to withdraw our affection, punish ourselves and speak badly if we make mistakes. You may have learned from your childhood that love is conditioned to certain things.
Experience: Mimes or food?
I recently discovered an old study that demonstrates the importance of getting a physical ailment. Harry F. Harlow, professor of psychology at the University of
Wisconsin, conducted an experiment with monkeys to measure the impact of physical affection on development and learning since childhood.
Harlow separated newborn monkeys from their mothers and placed them in separate cages. Many of them died for lack of affection.
He then placed a soft, fluffy cloth in each cage, playing the role of “surrogate mother”. When Harlow removed the pillow, the monkeys became aggressive, cried, felt uncomfortable and sucked their thumbs. When the canvas was reintroduced, they clung to it and sought refuge in comfort.
The most curious of all is that when the monkeys had the opportunity to choose between a metal doll with a bottle, imitated by his mother, and another very soft toy, but without a bottle, the monkeys prefer to spend 8 hours in the stuffed mother, for each hour spent with the mother in metal.
Here is the video to see the complete experience. Some images are very difficult. You do not need to know English to understand how these monkeys feel …
Can you improve the situation?
Sometimes it’s not up to you to change a situation, but you can change the way you think.
The film Life is Beautiful clearly shows us how to deal with a catastrophic situation. The protagonist Guido is a prisoner in a Nazi concentration camp. However, his powerful imagination and his determination to protect his son against these atrocities make him more bearable than in hell.
It’s in your hand
Nobody likes to fall with the whole team. However, if you follow these 7 steps, you will get up sooner. Do not sit down, bathe in the misery of your misery.
Instead of staying there, complaining, getting up, learning something new, facing adversity and achieving your goals. Remember that you have the power to turn difficulties into victories using your posture.
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