Size Matters – What Is Your Size? – Does size matter? The answer to this question is timidly discussed and the jokes of a size never end. The jokes are not lacking, because the solution that size is important, causes fear and disrupts the self-confidence of men and women.
While men are looking for larger women, they want smaller sizes, clothes sizes. Female diet, self-criticism, thousands of weight loss supplements, while men order their waist supplements online. Size is important, but it’s time for us to use a different measurement instrument, not based on thumbs, but on love for oneself and happiness.
For years, my height ranged from 0 to 6 years, depending on my stress level. In times of stress, I controlled my environment with food, and strangely punished my body for lack of control.
When my husband left me for another woman, the snapshot coach at the gym, I checked my anger and depression with food or rather with a refusal to eat. My appetite went down and if I lost weight, my distorted mentality of “If only I was thinner, it would be more desirable” and “If it were perfect, life would be perfect”.
When Body Narrowed, life did not become more perfect
When my body narrowed, life did not become more perfect, it turned into chaos. The safety pins have kept my clothes in my soft body. As the threat of divorce increased, my appetite decreased … and I declined.
My skeletal body was weakly handling the gravity of life, trying to free me from the game that had become our relationship and trying to force a new life. The truth was that I had given up control of my life many years ago. I did not really believe in myself, I was still Mrs. XXX or Mom and now it must be ME. I measured my happiness with the size of my clothes. It was a measure of scratch, embarrassed by my bony stature and completely miserable.
For months, while my body was starving, I prayed, cried and begged my ex to end this affair and confirm his love for me, for our family. We finally had the opportunity to enjoy the fruits of our efforts while anticipating the empty nest. I guess as soon as the problem of getting married and juggling with the family started to subside, we ended up together and the problems in our relationship hit us with unwanted neon light.
I was an eternal yo-yo and I felt hopeful when he confessed that I was the only woman he loved and who was sprayed the next day leaving his girlfriend and his friends in public. None of them were ashamed or expressed their conscience.
In fact, it was I who felt humiliated and embarrassed by the loss of our family. Rumors spread like wildfire, everyone loves a story that does not affect them personally. I felt stupid and now I have isolated and bought the children’s pavilion, which a woman of 5 ‘9 “should never do.
Had to be kind
On November 28, 2014, at 19:19, my revelation took place. When I folded the towels up a staircase at the Williams Sonoma store, I texted my ex and begged him to leave the bar where he was with his girlfriend. He told me pretty much that he could do what he wanted. He stayed. I prayed and prayed until I suddenly realized that I did not care at all. It was the most strange feeling. I was destroyed once and next time I was filled with power, clarity, and direction. I called a dear friend of mine, went to eat and ate a whole cheeseburger!
When I finally let go and did not try to control all aspects, some remarkable things happened. The first love came into my life, but that love was different. It was a love for myself, self-respect and personal care. I started taking care of myself and putting myself in the front row and I’m not just talking about spa visits. It was different, every time I had a negative conversation, I remembered that I had to be kind, give me a break.
As soon as the acceptance of me took me, my height increased and this weight gain was well received. In measuring the size, something extraordinary happened: true romantic love entered my life. This love is unconditional, based on trust and respect, without playing the game. Convenience gives a new meaning to the phrase “size matters”.
Sometimes I continue to fight with the woman I see in the mirror and criticize myself when the stress of my life disappears. Like many women, I always struggle with weight, I also know the other side of the waist and that weight is not the same thing as happiness. Finally, joy after years of resignation and silent resentment, I realize that size matters and that my companion is happy!