Have you been disappointed? – I’m sure you have that, we all have that. We are disappointed with the promises that people make but do not keep; We are frustrated with their behavior because we did not expect them to be like that! Or we are disappointed with a group/organization/company/service provider, etc.
If we are disappointed, we think it is the fault of the other party. We blame them and we care about them, we want them to assume their responsibilities and do good, up to our expectations. See where is the problem?
Our expectations of people and organizations are in our hearts and minds. We define these expectations in them. Although many boasts of these expectations but do not answer them, how do we treat them?
So let me tell you one by one.
First, we need to understand and apply the fundamental principle of the next life that saves you a lot of headaches, headaches, time and energy. WE CAN NOT CONSULT US THINGS. BUT WE CAN CHECK HOW WE RESPOND TO ALL SITUATIONS.
It’s a simple principle, but it takes practice to do it. Our automatic answer is that we want people to change their behavior. Harmonize what they say and feel with what we think they should be. But this is out of our control and should not be under our control if we believe in respect for others and their way of life (yes, including their partner/partner/children/family members).
Instead, we turn inward and wonder how we can react to the situation, both outside and inside. Sometimes it means not recognizing and sometimes it means that we need to change our perspective to deal with the issue, and sometimes it also means we have to talk in a way that allows it.
The expectations we have set for other people/situations/ organizations are unfair if we do not have enough room for what is going on in these people. We form our perspective of what is and hope that others will follow what we have in mind. It seems a little crazy. But that’s how we are! We do this stupid and it drives us crazy.
Situations change, and that’s the constant.
What should be right here is our perspective and not being obsessed with what it is because we live in a world where nothing stagnates. People, things, organizations, situations change, and that’s the constant. We have heard that change is a constant, but we always set unwanted expectations and expect things to stay the same, ONLY FOR US! How is it crazy?
Now, of course, there are people or organizations with their public statements about who they are and what they can offer, but they always fail in all accounts. The public person and what they can do are not synchronized. So we get angry because we’re disappointed?
We can do certain things in these situations:
If it is a service provider that does not keep its promises or does not respect what it claims to do and you pay for it, you naturally have the right to inform and ensure that they fulfill their obligations. keep it. Or get your money back. And personally, I will find another service provider. Yes, it’s problematic, but think about it, it’s not worth losing your sleep or your energy. Your well-being and your rest are more important than they are.
If he’s a friend or a business partner, he does not keep his promises. It takes a little compassion to understand the situation before drawing any conclusions. You can decide where you want to draw this line where your tolerance level ends. I generally believe in giving people opportunities. And in these types of relationships/relationships, I like to see the situation in which they have finally not satisfied, especially if it influences me greatly. In general, I do not have a strict rule about it, because it depends largely on the relationship I have with the individual.
Determine where you draw the line
I have eliminated people from my life if I know that I have given them countless possibilities and that I help them to be stabbed alone. If you have a high tolerance level like mine, you need to determine where you draw the line. This is important because having a limit prevents others from abusing you and if they are no longer part of your life, you do not need to spend unnecessary time and energy on people who do not count.
I am sure you have sometimes had to eliminate members of your family from your life. It’s one of the hardest things Islands to do. But when relationships become toxic and offensive, it makes no sense to continue the connection unless you find a solution. And it requires a lot of effort and work, both parties having to seek professional help in therapy.
I know that many people avoid this and think that going to therapy is too dramatic. But the underground currents in relationships when they are unsolved can and can come back, and, when the time comes, our disappointment in people can be overcome if we take responsibility for our perspective on them, situations and necessary adjustments.
We have the power to achieve and maintain mental peace for ourselves. Remember that other people have no control over what you think or feel.