Two Relationship Killers – Consider a primary relationship in your life in which you love and love someone. It can be an intimate relationship, a relationship between parents and children or a close friendship. Here are two things to avoid if you want to make sure that love is present at all times.
Relationship killer 1:
First of all, you should never expect that, because someone loves you, he must sacrifice himself for you and put your needs first. We often wrongly think that someone’s degree of suffering is proof of the amount of love he has for us.
Similarly, we mistakenly think that if someone puts their needs first, they do not like us. But that’s not true at all. If I refuse to sacrifice myself for you, it does not mean that I do not love you.
It just means that I know clearly what works and what does not work for me and that I do not interfere with my own needs. Please do not take this personally. However, I love you, but I certainly do not have to suffer to show you, my love.
And if you doubt it, no matter how much you suffer, you will never believe me.
Get this: your partner is having fun while you are in a difficult situation, does not mean they do not like you. People who love you owe you no suffering if things do not work for you.
So do not be jealous if your loved one goes out with friends while you work hard or cook at home alone. No one should put their life on hold just because it’s yours (even if they really love you!). Of course, you can ask for help. It’s perfectly reasonable.
But asking someone to sacrifice themselves and to suffer to feel loved is totally unreasonable. And it’s a certain Relationship Killers.
Relationship killer 2:
The other way to kill a relationship is to try to show your love for someone by sacrificing your own needs and sufferings. See, as long as you suffer, there is no true love to speak. If you did something for someone because you wanted it and because you loved it unconditionally, you would not suffer.
But if you sacrifice yourself of obligation and/or guilt, unconditional love disappears and you probably expect something in return. In other words, you are trying to manipulate someone to love you again by doing things that they have to pay for. Unfortunately, you play a game, thinking that you can control someone’s feelings and buy their love.
Of course, the result is exactly the opposite: you slowly but surely kill the relationship. So stop immediately if you train first and your needs. Find your own truth and begin to honor it. Understand that you can have a good time without feeling guilty if your partner does not want or can not participate. Of course, you can support them if they feel depressed. But you do not have to suffer, otherwise, you will blame them and you will end the relationship, what a kind of Relationship Killers
- Love must be free: without attachment, without suffering, without the exchange of favors and without the feeling of obligation and guilt.
- Love must be independent: I love you and put me in the foreground; You love me and you put yourself first; We love each other and yet we respect our independent needs.
- Love must be by choice: I love you as I want, not as I think.